Is it me, or is this the most pretentious article ever?

I am now instituting the first annual, most pretentious thing ever award. You can nominate an article, a person, an object, anything that for you embodies pretentiousness. The winner will be forever shamed in front of my two readers. I nominate the following article from the New York Times Home and Garden Section: "Keeping Watch Where Rocks...." You have to read the whole article. I love the HG section and of course it is always a little pretentious, but this article really takes it to a whole 'nother level. My favorite line: "A row of portraits of the Selknam of Tierra del Fuego, a Patagonian tribe that is now extinct, lend a slightly anthropological air." I'm sure the extinct tribe would be happy to know that they are now adding a "anthropological air" to this yuppy's BS house...give me a break! Please send in your nominations!

Pictures

"Come on lets go to Bethany!"

"I think I just heard a wave.""There it is!, There it is!""Let's go to the beach, there it is!"
"Ah yes, the beach."

Baltimore is a murdery small town

Watching the local "news" last night. There was a story about a photographer from my neighborhood who won a contest from national geographic. The next story was about a stabbing in the neighborhood next to mine and they interviewed (without any comment) the photographer from the previous story as a neighbor to the crime. I guess there are two possibilities: they sent out two different crews and it was just a coincidence, or the same crew did both stories and was just incredibly lazy. Either way this gives you some idea why "news" is in quotation marks. Baltimore is a creepy small town. While on the topic, I would like to publicly propose that Baltimore downgrade its status to town. I am sure there are complicated population, size requirements that make it officially a city, but like a university changing from being a college to a university, I think Baltimore would do better as a town. A town can't lead the nation in syphilis, drugs, or murder, can it? Plus who would be afraid of visiting some little old town? When I run for mayor this is going to be part of my platform.

Beach in Spring part deux

Turns out that the farther you get into spring the better the beach is. Despite Quinn getting revved up to hit the beach at 5:50 in the morning, it is the perfect day to be in Bethany. Although sitting inside writing about cholera most of the day isn't the greatest. Thesis of my paper: "It turns out that dying of cholera in 1832 sucked as much as dying of cholera any other time, except that the church also damned you for being immoral." (Only immoral people, drinkers, fornicators, sabbath breakers, etc., got cholera) Best preventative I have found that was offered in the 19th century for cholera: smoking lots of cigars...you know for clearing the air.

Orioles

The Orioles are once again playing well at the beginning of the season in order to draw me in, get me excited, and than spend three quarters of the season letting me down. They keep coming back late in games to win and their bullpen is doing really well. Which, of course, means they will not come back again this season and the bullpen will start stinking the rest of the year. In good news I have a new pregame ritual...soft-shell crab sandwich and Boh from Fadley's in Lexington Market. Despite the fact that the stall next door in the market sells, raccoon, (yes raccoon), it is awesome. Best experience from the ball game yesterday: the drunk college girls behind us with letters written on their bellies who couldn't quite get it together to spell Orioles. Mostly because some of them were shy, so there was a lot of ories, etc. Go O's.
PS- RIP - Jay Gibbons, you are gone but not forgotten. Are you free to do birthday parties?

An Ambivalent Baltimorean's guide to Baltimore

Don't get me wrong, I love B-more. But how to best display its charm, which has taken me twenty odd years to appreciate? Having someone come from out of town gets you thinking, what are the best things to show in Baltimore. Here is my list: The Reptile House (which is no longer around, but I include it because for the longest time it was my favorite thing to do in Baltimore for a dollar), the Visionary Arts Museum (very Baltimore, very cool), Orioles, Crabs and Boh, the Hampden lights (in winter), the Helmand, the Aquarium (although very expensive), the Charleston, Tambers (diner/indian food, the greatest), the Paper Moon, the Walters, and perhaps Fort McHenry. What would be on your list?
PS- for fans of the Wire, an informal Wire tour and for those who haven't seen "Serial Mom" or "Pecker," those are must sees.
PPS- And when Baltimore won't cut it, as a last resort, DC, which I see as basically a suburb of Baltimore.